Contentment

I just started an amazing Beth Moore Bible study at my church two weeks ago. I LOVE it. Along with the class, people have been emailing their thoughts, questions, struggles, etc. Now to be honest, this study is so intense that I'm not sure I can even connect and put into words all the thoughts and feelings rolling around in my heart and mind from the first week. I just keep praying that God will take all the thoughts He has laid on my heart and piece them together for me...eventually. My heart and mind are so full, after just two weeks! Some women taking the study with me have emailed some amazing, insightful thoughts on the study, and one lady spoke some truth that hit home with me. This very wise woman, Deana, noted that we as women often lack self grace. Beth Moore said in this week's video to "Side with the Lord on your own self evaluation." Now I am the first to admit that I am so hard on myself in every possible way, but I never looked at it from the perspective that I am denying myself of the grace of God. This woman noted that we are constantly comparing ourselves, to other women who "do it all," to the Biblical description of what a woman should be, and to the perfect woman/wife/mother we think we should be in our own twisted minds. This either leads to wanting to be like another woman who is just as imperfect and sinful as the rest of us instead of striving to be like Christ or feeling so defeated that we wallow in despair and defeat. We lose sight of God's grace and that through His grace I can be the woman I was called to be. This wise woman goes on to point out our struggles with believing the lies of this world, specifically as a SAHM that we aren't doing enough, that we aren't important enough or that we are just changing diapers and cleaning messes all day instead of using our degrees/intelligence/talents. This leads to a perpetual search to be more, to do more, to be better. Instead we should be seeking peace and contentment. Only sharing these struggles with the Lord will calm your mind and fill your heart. Releasing them to Him allows us to be happy in the moment, to be content with our calling right now and leaving your calling for tomorrow in His hands. Isn't that all we want to do anyway? To be in the moment and enjoy every second? Discontent only leads to distraction and endless searching, which in turn keeps us from being in the moment, which of course inevitably leads to self-loathing that we aren't doing this whole mommy thing right/good enough.

I'm going to stop, seek peace and contentment daily, and in turn, enjoy every moment in this fleeting life allowing my heart to be full of the thankfulness, joy and love that my blessed life certainly deserves.

Today was my 28th birthday. I honestly loved everything about my day. It was probably mundane compared to the day in the life of many others I know, but to me it was perfect. I woke up to a Mr. Potato head for my birthday just for me because I like big pink noses. LOL The girls climbed in bed with me and snuggled while we watched cartoons on my phone. I did some chores, gave my girls not one but two baths*, and watched them play in this beautiful fall weather. My new tripod and camera remote came in the mail from my dear husband. They were exactly what I wanted. Wonder how he knew??? Oh yeah, after 5 years of marriage, I've learned to tell him exactly what I want. Men don't do subtle hints very well. Brett also came home early, which in itself would be enough, but he came home with SusieCakes cupcakes from the city, and they.were.delicious. We drove up to RP for some Olive Garden that I was craving and even a little shopping at the outlets for winter clothes for Kayleigh bug. It is amazing how such every day things can bring such happiness. I just feel so blessed. I'm starting to think we should get to celebrate our birthday at least 4 times throughout the year. Aren't birthdays the best? Wonder if I can get my husband on board with that? ;)

Kayleigh took this from behind the screen door with my new tripod.

The most delicious Red Velvet cupcake from Susie Cakes. <3

As you can tell, the girls and I dug right in. These were the only two left by the time B took a picture.

*Yes, I am an OCD clean freak. Snot in the hair is almost enough to send me over the edge. I resisted the urge to do bath #3, for which I am proud.