So...I'm an introvert

Sometime last month I was reading a blog of a friend. Well, more like a childhood friend's wife if you want to get specific. She's a really great writer, but sadly she doesn't blog very much anymore. I stumbled upon a post she had written awhile ago about this blog entry by the lead singer of Owl City who was writing about this post by Carl King (who is a musician I have never heard of).  Is that confusing enough for you? :) And should I know Carl King? Wouldn't be the first time I am out of the loop.

Anyway, I seriously couldn't believe what I was reading. At the age of 28 after countless personality tests throughout the years...I discovered that I was an introvert...apparently a closet one. I suspect that I was an introvert all along, even when I was the bubbly stereotypical cheerleader, I just didn't understand myself or my thoughts back then and school and friends made it easier to "be someone else," but when I read this I had what old Oprah calls an "Ah Ha" moment. I finally understood myself a lot more and things started to make sense.

I'll repost the post by Adam Young called 10 Myths About Introverts and add some of my "Ah Ha" moments in there in red. I was seriously shouting "YESSSSSS!" after every bullet point too. Perhaps this will enlighten some of you as well.

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I recently stumbled across a blog written by Carl King about the phenomenon known as the introverted human being and it struck a major chord with me. After each bullet, I felt like standing up and shouting “YESSSSSSSSS!” at the top of my lungs because these points (made by author Marti Laney, Psy.D) are total home runs. As an extreme introvert, this is like sweet manna from heaven.

(Below is what Adam is quoting from Carl King.)

I was lucky enough to discover a book called, The Introvert Advantage (How To Thrive in an Extrovert World), by Marti Laney, Psy.D. I feel like someone has written an encyclopedia entry on a rare race of people to which I belong. Not only has it explained many of my eccentricities, it helps me to redefine my entire life in a new and positive context.

Sure, anyone who knows me would say, “Duh! Why did it take you so long to realize you’re an Introvert?” It’s not that simple. The problem is that labeling someone as an Introvert is a very shallow assessment, full of common misconceptions. It’s more complex than that. (Since Carl King is talking about it, it has to be.)
Hence numerous incorrect personality tests. I wasn't going deeper into my real thoughts/feelings because I too had plenty of misconceptions about introverts. I answered the questions based on who I thought I was. 

A section of Laney’s book maps out the human brain and explains how neuro-transmitters follow different dominant paths in the nervous systems of Introverts and Extroverts. If the science behind the book is correct, it turns out that Introverts are people who are over-sensitive to Dopamine, so too much external stimulation overdoses and exhausts them. Conversely, Extroverts can’t get enough Dopamine, and they require Adrenaline for their brains to create it. Extroverts also have a shorter pathway and less blood-flow to the brain. The messages of an Extrovert’s nervous system mostly bypass the Broca’s area in the frontal lobe, which is where a large portion of contemplation takes place. 

Unfortunately, according to the book, only about 25% of people are Introverts. There are even fewer that are as extreme as I am. This leads to a lot of misunderstandings, since society doesn’t have very much experience with my people. (I love being able to say that.)

So here are a few common misconceptions about Introverts (I put this list together myself, some of them are things I actually believed):

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.
If you know me, you know I like to talk. A lot. But I cannot tell you how many times I have said that I hate small talk. With a passion. I actually feel awkward in social settings because I'm horrible at small talk and prone to zoning out and not really listening to someone. Now get me talking about something I'm passionate about and I will NEVER.SHUT.UP!

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.
I totally believed this too. I am shy sometimes but it is more about being interested in the conversation and the person.

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.
Can't tell you how many times I have emphasized how important I feel it is for everyone to be real and honest. Just ask my mom. I'm sure she can tell you a few hundred times we've talked about this. I've also used the word exhausting when it comes to interacting with others more times than I can count.

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.
Yes, yes, yes!! 

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.
My friend/neighbor here laughs at my home body tendencies and cannot understand how I don't go crazy doing my own thing at home, especially with two little ones. I, of course, go out and do things, but it is definitely at a minimum compared to most. I like to explore new places but I typically avoid social things. I make myself go to Bible study every week because I really do enjoy the study and learning...but I still dislike the social aspect of it. Sometimes I wonder if I come off snobby. :/

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.
Yep, yep, yep. I am a dreamer. I dream big and rarely follow through, but I enjoy solving problems and creating plans and sharing my excitement with those who are close to me. I definitely prefer one on one interactions that are real. 

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.
I definitely understand  myself much more because of reading this. I often find my inner world much more stimulating much of the time. 

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.
I married an adrenaline junky (hello he drives boats that roll over for a living) but that is not in the least bit me. I enjoy busy places but probably just in more limited amounts than my dear husband.

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers. That being said, there are still plenty of techniques an Extrovert can learn in order to interact with Introverts. (Yes, I reversed these two terms on purpose to show you how biased our society is.) Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.
It can be terribly destructive for an Introvert to deny themselves in order to get along in an Extrovert-Dominant World. Like other minorities, Introverts can end up hating themselves and others because of the differences. If you think you are an Introvert, I recommend you research the topic and seek out other Introverts to compare notes. The burden is not entirely on Introverts to try and become “normal.” Extroverts need to recognize and respect us, and we also need to respect ourselves.
-Carl
  

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I love learning more than just about anything, so learning and understanding myself better and "what makes me tick" is just exciting to me. I feel like in my late twenties, I've come into my own a bit more and understood myself and what I like and what I don't and who I am and who I want to be more than ever. If this was growing old is all about, I can't wait for my thirties and beyond...maybe minus the wrinkles and aches and pains though. I'll skip that part. ;) 

Hope you are learning and discovering yourself too. It is amazing how unique God created each of us!

A day that will live in infamy...

Well in our house anyway...

So I know I said I would start filling in on 2012 now, but for the sake of remembering this monumental event, I really must blog about this and post this little video of my post-incident interrogation.

December 5, 2011 Kayleigh cut...no butchered Campbell's hair. 

 So the back story is that we had attempted a haircut for Kayleigh at the salon a few times with no luck. I felt bad torturing them with her drama, so we just figured we'd try again another time. She wanted Tangled hair wrapped around the room, so any haircut was out of the question in her mind. Well, one night while combing her hair, I had had enough of fighting tangles, so I thought "How hard can it be just to trim it straight across?" Well, the answer my friends is very hard. As soon as I started I realized our hair scissors were dull and I mean very dull. No idea how considering they've never been used but I was literally sawing her hair, so I switched to regular kitchen scissors. Sign #1 that this wasn't going to go well. After a few minutes of trying to even it up and only cutting it shorter and shorter, I start to sweat and get sick to my stomach. I take her downstairs to the living room and sheepishly ask Brett for help. He was A. not impressed with my hair styling skills and B. appalled that I was seriously butchering her hair. Thankfully, he saved the day and helped me even it up. I only cut like 6 inches off her gorgeous, long curly hair, but I regained composure eventually and assured myself it would grow back and be just fine all while telling her that I gave her beautiful Tangled hair. The last thing I needed was scarring her from any future hair cuts, especially after learning the lesson that haircuts are best left to the professionals.

Fast forward a couple of weeks, and I was doing crafts with the girls and talking to my Mom on the phone. Kayleigh needed to go potty, so off she went upstairs. Of course Campbell followed because what sister can go potty without the other? ;) An hour or so later, I notice a chunk of hair missing from the back of Campbell's hair. Don't judge. Mom and I were busy solving world problems, analyzing everything and venting about something or other that your husband doesn't want to hear about but you just have to get it out. And I'm a master multi-tasker. Talking on the phone and crafting is elementary.

After I have a mini-heart attack, I ask Campbell if she cut her hair to which she responds, "No." I then ask Kayleigh and get the same response. I'm no rocket scientist, but apparently someone is lying. After a quick chat about lying, Kayleigh fesses up that she wanted Campbell to have Tangled hair too. Uh-oh. Massive Mommy fail. Never thought to explain that only Mommy and Daddy give Tangled hair. Oops. Another lesson learned. On a side note, some days (or maybe every day) I think they are teaching me more lessons than I'm teaching them. Perhaps that was God's master plan with parenting.

She finally spills the beans that she snuck the scissors upstairs when she went potty. I sprinted upstairs and found this massive pile of hair.

I interviewed Kayleigh just for fun (see below and excuse the nutella faces and jammies), and we made a quick trip to Supercuts that night once Daddy got home. I had been wanting to get Campbell's hair cut into a bob before but just never did because it's so hard to cut off all that baby hair, but it turns out, I should have done it already because it just looked so darn precious on her petite little body. I'll probably leave it in a bob for a while. It also helps keep her a (little) less messy since she never kept the ponytail in her hair. Isn't she just a cute little thing??

 And Kayleigh is obsessed with braids lately because apparently that's Tangled hair too. Rapunzel has quite a few hairstyles in the movie, so I guess it works no matter what kind of hair you might have. ;) She is so proud of her braids and just touches them over and over to make sure they are still there. They both have hair like me when I was little and it falls so easily, so I'm braiding all day. Just she would sit still long enough for me to learn to french braid.







And just because I want to, I'm adding this picture. They play downstairs while I workout and they always want a turn. Wish I looked that cute working out!

I'm bursting with things I want to blog about, so stay tuned for talks of paleo, screaming (in a good way), introvertedness (yep I probably made that word up), spiritual gifts, fun explorations here in the Bay area and other fabulous stuff.

2011 is a wrap...

And once again I failed on the blog front. But I have excuses...good ones. 

Bad excuses are worse than none.  ~Thomas Fuller

On that note, I'll just fill you in instead. I had every intention of filling everyone in routinely by keeping up this blog, then I got pregnant and first trimester exhaustion left me napping or playing catch up. Not to mention just about every blog post would have been pregnancy related, and we were waiting to share the news. Then at almost 12 weeks, I starting having symptoms of a miscarriage. Four days before Thanksgiving, we were devastated after an ultrasound confirmed that our baby likely quit growing around 9 weeks. I eventually had to have a D&C.  I was sad and didn't really want to talk about. If I had, I might have said something like Bethenny Frankel said yesterday on the Today show (but way less eloquently.) I am incredibly grateful for my two healthy girls and have found peace knowing that whether our family is complete is in God's very capable hands.


 Watch the video here. This will just take you to the Huffington Post because I apparently have no idea how to embed the video. Lame I know. Oh well. Just click the link.

Christmas arrived along with a visit from my Mom & Dad. We did lots of fun things like riding the cable cars, shopping in Union Square, visiting Santa, hiking near the house, celebrating Mom's birthday and hiking Mt. Tam.

Wait, did I say that hiking Mt. Tam was fun? I might have complained the entire time, but the view was amazing. Too bad Brett failed to mention the parking lot at the top that you could just drive to. I love a good hike, but I should learn by now that when Brett says it is an hour hike, I should add about 3 hours AND most importantly pack extra food.

This may or may not be perfect for me. 

The views were amazing though.

 

I just love them. Don't think they could love each other an ounce more. <3

Riding the cable cars

We celebrated Christmas early since there was surf (big waves which equals work for Brett). Randy & Lesa came down and we had a wonderful Christmas celebration. Santa, Grandma, Poppy, Nana, JB, Aunts, Uncles and all the rest of the family were VERY good to the girls. The were SO excited about Santa this year. Campbell had to go back to see him 4 times after they sat in his lap just to say hey. She is so precious... and not shy. Kayleigh is so timid and shy but so loving and SUCH a pleaser. They were so excited that Santa and the reindeer ate all the treats they left. He even left them a cool note.

GGB Christmas Night...it never gets less impressive.

Since we celebrated early, Christmas day was so relaxing and well...perfect. We went to church, relaxed a bit, walked the GGB, ate McDonald's (Yes McD's was the only thing open and we were out and about not ready to head home. It tasted so good just not having to cook or clean. Ha!) then took a drive through the city to look at all the amazing Christmas lights. They were beautiful! We drove down Lombard, Market, Embacadero, Union Square and by San Francisco City Hall which was all lit up red and green. I just love Christmas.

We rung in the New Year in Red Bluff with lots of fun and games (even made it up way past midnight Cali time) though I don't think I took a single picture. My mother-in-law always takes lots of pictures, so I tend to slack off when she's around. ;)

I'll update on 2012 thus far...tomorrow.

Where have we been??

The girls and I are on our second cold of the month. Add in a stomach bug for all 4 of us, and you can see part of why I have been missing. I am always so excited for summer to be over and winter to arrive until we start getting sick. Yes, we only get summer, an Indian summer and rainy winter here in the Bay Area. I miss my East Coast seasons! Fall and winter are my absolutely favorite times of the year. My birthday, college football, cozy fires, Thanksgiving and Christmas...what more could a girl ask for? That is until we start getting sick, and a very, very small part inside me longs for summer to be back where we are outside in the sunshine with no worries of sickness.

Despite yucky colds and bugs, we have been very busy. Ballet resumes for the little ballaweena. She's actually learning quite a lot and is constantly singing "Tendu and first. Tendu and first." while moving her feet into the correct positions and doing passes, plies, and leaps all over the house. She is so proud of herself, and B and I just love to watch. We are all taking a gymnastics class on Monday mornings now too. Campbell and I are in a mommy and me class, which I will blog more in depth about in the future (Let me just say I'm not sure what goes through some parent's minds sometimes.), and Kayleigh is in the 3 year old independent class. They both love it because to be honest it is really like a ginormous play room. They jump down the trampoline, do rolls, hang on the rings, climb ladders, and do all sorts of other fun things. Campbell's class even does parachute time at the end with bubbles. Does anyone remember those awesome parachutes from elementary school? They were so fun, and the little 2 year olds love it just as much.

In other news, I'm finally pursuing photography, which has taken all the time and energy I've had lately. I am wrapping up all the legal stuff and already have a few sessions booked this month. For now, I just have a page on Facebook. Maybe it is just California, but I had NO idea there were so many hoops to jump through to start a business. It's fun learning all these new things though. Feel free to check out my page, "like" me and even book a session if you are in CA! In case I've never mentioned it, I'm more of a team player kinda girl, not so much the solo, put myself out there kinda girl. I was a ball of nerves taking the first leap, but I survived. ;)

Last but not least, a few pictures from our fun weekend forever ago. Fleet week was here and though we missed out on most of the events, we did make it to the parade of ships and a delicious lunch in Sausalito. 

USS Carl Vinson...a navy supercarrier that came through. It was HUGE and so awesome to see coming under the GGB. A sidenote, it was named after a congressman from Georgia. :)

 

 

Click to make this bigger and you can see the whole crew lined up around the sides of the ship. So awesome to see and gave me chills! So proud of these men and women.

A fireboat that was saluting each of the ships.

One of the 47' boats from Brett's station headed out to do security. Pretty proud of my husband and his shipmates too.

The delicious burgers in Sausalito. The place is so tiny and the line goes out the door, but they were SO YUMMY!

Trying to teach little Miss to do a thumbs up for some delicious burgers.

Burgers? On my thumb?

I love fountains. So do they. <3 Daddy was waiting on the burgers, so I was all alone in getting them to cooperate for pictures. You can imagine who cooperated and who didn't. ;)

When did she get so big??

Last but not least, the awesome swing Daddy built. We live such a blessed life. <3

I promise...

I promise I will blog again...when I'm not so tired or cranky or busy. I was looking forward to blogging about the fabulous weekend we had planned last weekend (free zoo, Fleet Week festivities, oh my!), but it was all a bust. I did get a few cute pictures of the girls though. I will post them, but I must gather enough energy to upload them from the memory card and sort through them first. Maybe tomorrow...

In other news, I finally got photoshop and lightroom, so I am a happy girl. Though I am so tired and busy tired, that I haven't even played with it. Not even once. And...preschool is going so much better (and ballet for that matter.) I have gotten more creative in my delivery and we are adjusting (aka mommy is learning how to teach). I'm just excited they are learning. Maybe tomorrow I'll get some energy and take pictures of our school projects. Maybe...

Going Bear Crazy

So I mentioned a report of a bear (approximately 350 lb bear to be exact) here in housing last week in the post about losing my keys. Well, apparently I'm losing my mind as well. We have found what the boys think is bear poop right in our back yard. Two times. Obviously that freaks me out to no end, and I respond by looking around frantically constantly on watch for a bear while we are outside playing in the yard. My wonderful husband on the other hand responds by going to the store to buy molasses to lure the bear. He poured it on the trees and left the half full jar in the tree. He's hoping to find evidence tomorrow. It makes me laugh just thinking about a raccoon eating that yumminess and knocking it over while Brett is convinced the bear got it. LOL

It does not make me laugh thinking about attracting this bear to my yard though. I didn't realize how freaked out I was until tonight when everyone was already asleep. I'm the only night owl in the house...thankfully. It's so quiet at night...and scary. I went to get a lifesaver out of the kitchen when I decided to make sure the side door was locked. I peeked down the basement stairs and it was open (the screen door was shut, but the actual door was open). I wasn't surprised as my husband has never been big on locking door, cars, anything. He laughs when he gets locked out and calls it Fort Knox. I am the worrier and the safety freak of course, so I run down the stairs to shut and deadbolt the door when I panic. The thought that the bear was inside the basement overtook me and I ran as fast as I could back into the kitchen and slammed the kitchen door. I'm surprised I didn't fall up the stairs. Lord knows I've fallen down those awful stairs more than my fair share.

When I got back in the living room, I laughed a bit at myself and went back to watching my show (Parenthood. The best show EVER.) when I noticed the front door behind me was rattling. A lot. I was immediately frozen with fear and convinced that there was a bear at the front door trying to get in. I gathered a little courage and went to the door and peeked out the little window in the door. Thankfully, nothing was there and the door was locked. I again laughed at myself for being convinced it was a bear versus the crazy wind outside making the door rattle. Definitely losing my mind 'round here.

This may or may not be the bear in my yard. ;)

On a more parental note, we have been sick, so we skipped ballet this morning. I figured the other mommies might give me a nasty look when my little ballaweena comes in hacking and blowing snot bubbles. I did have a few errands I had to run though, so I gathered up all my energy and got us loaded in the car. About 5 minutes down the road, I'm feeling very productive so I decide to head up to the Petaluma outlets about 30 minutes away and return something* to the Gap. I figure this will be a quick in and out trip before hitting up the post office and grocery store, leaving us plenty of time to get home before lunch and naptime. I'm sure this is all too familiar to other moms, but a quick return at Gap turned into TWO potty breaks, a few rides on the... Well, what are those things called? It was a train and a boat that you put fifty cents into and it shakes and moves. They aren't really rides as in Six Flag rides, but I guess that's the closest thing. Anyway, two potty breaks, a few rides, a run around Gap and a diaper change later, we finally made it out of there. For those of you without kids, any "quick" errand that should take less than 5 minutes will automatically take at least 30 45 minutes. Due to said sickness, they passed out on me before we even got to the second stop. I got lunch and sat in the car waiting for them to stir so we could go into the post office. (They were literally unwakeable. Trust me. I tried.) I don't know about where you live, but our post office is always a nightmare. To make matters worse, they have now added an entire card display which only makes juggling boxes and keeping 2 toddlers in line even more difficult. Staring at Scooby Doo, mermaids and Cat in the Hat is just too much for my girls. They have to touch. Everything. We managed to make it out of there and gave up on the rest of the errands. I still felt productive as I managed to check a few things off the "to do" list, which is more than I can say for most days. Gotta celebrate the small things, right? It keeps me sane, even if I am losing my mind.

School!

Our "classroom"

Today was our first day of school. We are just doing preschool at home, but we are all so excited. I bought the Horizons Preschool curriculum because I am a Type A perfectionist, and I need a plan and lots of organization. I knew I would stress myself to no end if I tried to wing it. I would spend countless hours researching and planning, so I saved myself a little time and a lot of future grey hair and bought a complete curriculum. On a side note, if you homeschool or even if you don't, you should look around the Rainbow Resources website. There is so much awesome stuff on there. It is actually a little overwhelming.

I actually got the curriculum in the mail a week or two ago, but then I realized we needed quite a few things for the crafts, lessons, etc. It took me a week or so and a few trips to the dollar store and walmart, but we have most of the stuff we need for the year. I'm planning a trip to this place in the East Bay for a few more teacher like things, but I'm honestly scared for my wallet, so I've been putting it off. So far, I LOVE this curriculum. It starts off with a Bible verse which they base the rest of the lesson around (social studies, crafts, math, writing, etc.) Today we read Genesis 1:1 and talked about how God created the world for us. We talked about how He is our father and then talked about Daddy and how God is like Daddy, providing for us, loving us, etc. We colored a picture of the world, cut pictures that reminded us of Daddy out of a magazine, read books, practiced writing the letter A, talked about the number 1, worked on name recognition and picked out things in the house that were red, green and blue. Thankfully, Kayleigh's ahead of the game and she was already familiar with the letter A including writing it both upper and lowercase, the number 1 and her colors. We breezed right through all the activities in an hour to an hour and a half, which was perfect for her attention span. Campbell participated in everything and I think she'll pick up a lot even though she's a little young just from watching Kayleigh learn.

Kayleigh has been extremely excited about "doing school," but we definitely have some things to work on. She is quite strong-willed* and thought she was the Principal of our little school. She decided to scream "NO" when she didn't want to do something like sing her ABC's. Thank goodness she's at home versus being THAT kid at preschool.

 Here's a few pics of our morning. It was VERY hard to be teacher and photographer. Ha!

She colored the world that God created for us.

Sister got in on the fun.

Drawing a picture of Daddy.

*How in the world did both of my kids turn out so strong-willed?  Oh yeah, they got a double dose! Lord help us!!