Anyway, I seriously couldn't believe what I was reading. At the age of 28 after countless personality tests throughout the years...I discovered that I was an introvert...apparently a closet one. I suspect that I was an introvert all along, even when I was the bubbly stereotypical cheerleader, I just didn't understand myself or my thoughts back then and school and friends made it easier to "be someone else," but when I read this I had what old Oprah calls an "Ah Ha" moment. I finally understood myself a lot more and things started to make sense.
I'll repost the post by Adam Young called 10 Myths About Introverts and add some of my "Ah Ha" moments in there in red. I was seriously shouting "YESSSSSS!" after every bullet point too. Perhaps this will enlighten some of you as well.
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I recently stumbled across a blog written by Carl King about the phenomenon known as the introverted human being and it struck a major chord with me. After each bullet, I felt like standing up and shouting “YESSSSSSSSS!” at the top of my lungs because these points (made by author Marti Laney, Psy.D) are total home runs. As an extreme introvert, this is like sweet manna from heaven.
(Below is what Adam is quoting from Carl King.)
I was lucky enough to discover a book called, The Introvert Advantage (How To Thrive in an Extrovert World), by Marti Laney, Psy.D. I feel like someone has written an encyclopedia entry on a rare race of people to which I belong. Not only has it explained many of my eccentricities, it helps me to redefine my entire life in a new and positive context.
Sure, anyone who knows me would say, “Duh! Why did it take you so long to realize you’re an Introvert?” It’s not that simple. The problem is that labeling someone as an Introvert is a very shallow assessment, full of common misconceptions. It’s more complex than that. (Since Carl King is talking about it, it has to be.)
Hence numerous incorrect personality tests. I wasn't going deeper into my real thoughts/feelings because I too had plenty of misconceptions about introverts. I answered the questions based on who I thought I was.
A section of Laney’s book maps out the human brain and explains how neuro-transmitters follow different dominant paths in the nervous systems of Introverts and Extroverts. If the science behind the book is correct, it turns out that Introverts are people who are over-sensitive to Dopamine, so too much external stimulation overdoses and exhausts them. Conversely, Extroverts can’t get enough Dopamine, and they require Adrenaline for their brains to create it. Extroverts also have a shorter pathway and less blood-flow to the brain. The messages of an Extrovert’s nervous system mostly bypass the Broca’s area in the frontal lobe, which is where a large portion of contemplation takes place.
Unfortunately, according to the book, only about 25% of people are Introverts. There are even fewer that are as extreme as I am. This leads to a lot of misunderstandings, since society doesn’t have very much experience with my people. (I love being able to say that.)
So here are a few common misconceptions about Introverts (I put this list together myself, some of them are things I actually believed):
Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.
If you know me, you know I like to talk. A lot. But I cannot tell you how many times I have said that I hate small talk. With a passion. I actually feel awkward in social settings because I'm horrible at small talk and prone to zoning out and not really listening to someone. Now get me talking about something I'm passionate about and I will NEVER.SHUT.UP!
Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.
I totally believed this too. I am shy sometimes but it is more about being interested in the conversation and the person.
Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.
Can't tell you how many times I have emphasized how important I feel it is for everyone to be real and honest. Just ask my mom. I'm sure she can tell you a few hundred times we've talked about this. I've also used the word exhausting when it comes to interacting with others more times than I can count.
Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.
Yes, yes, yes!!
Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.
My friend/neighbor here laughs at my home body tendencies and cannot understand how I don't go crazy doing my own thing at home, especially with two little ones. I, of course, go out and do things, but it is definitely at a minimum compared to most. I like to explore new places but I typically avoid social things. I make myself go to Bible study every week because I really do enjoy the study and learning...but I still dislike the social aspect of it. Sometimes I wonder if I come off snobby. :/
Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.
Yep, yep, yep. I am a dreamer. I dream big and rarely follow through, but I enjoy solving problems and creating plans and sharing my excitement with those who are close to me. I definitely prefer one on one interactions that are real.
Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.
Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.
I definitely understand myself much more because of reading this. I often find my inner world much more stimulating much of the time.
Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.
I married an adrenaline junky (hello he drives boats that roll over for a living) but that is not in the least bit me. I enjoy busy places but probably just in more limited amounts than my dear husband.
Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers. That being said, there are still plenty of techniques an Extrovert can learn in order to interact with Introverts. (Yes, I reversed these two terms on purpose to show you how biased our society is.) Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.
It can be terribly destructive for an Introvert to deny themselves in order to get along in an Extrovert-Dominant World. Like other minorities, Introverts can end up hating themselves and others because of the differences. If you think you are an Introvert, I recommend you research the topic and seek out other Introverts to compare notes. The burden is not entirely on Introverts to try and become “normal.” Extroverts need to recognize and respect us, and we also need to respect ourselves.
-Carl
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I love learning more than just about anything, so learning and understanding myself better and "what makes me tick" is just exciting to me. I feel like in my late twenties, I've come into my own a bit more and understood myself and what I like and what I don't and who I am and who I want to be more than ever. If this was growing old is all about, I can't wait for my thirties and beyond...maybe minus the wrinkles and aches and pains though. I'll skip that part. ;)
Hope you are learning and discovering yourself too. It is amazing how unique God created each of us!






























